Birthdays Two Ways

In the sacred first week of October, when an entire nation of 1.4 billion has off for a National holiday （国庆节）, a young American risks his passport, visa, and national shame to take a few of - what this author considers to be - funny and only mildly offensive photos. Security is extra heightened, not only because he is in the city center of the Capital of China in Beijing, not only because He - the Eternal Emperor and godlike Xi - was also present (physically, allegedly) there in Beijing, but because there in 2019 was also the 70th anniversary of the founding of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), with all the bells, whistles, diplomats and fanfare you would expect of a week-long parade.

Four years later, in 2023, that same young American returns home. Three years after that, now in 2026, the American finds so much incredibly wrong with his own country's 250th anniversary, he feels compelled to create an entire website just to talk about it.

In two stories of similar situations across Beijing and D.C., hopefully you, too, will understand why – this July – no one is safe from an imminent (heat) apocalypse, no American will sleep with you, and no American holiday currently exists in any positive way. Let's begin:

Photo Sources: "China's rise leaves the West feeling uneasy;" "Chinese 70th anniversary parade testifies to a crisis-stricken regime;" Me

July 4th - Independence Day in America - and October 1st - the CCP's Anniversary - may seem and sound similar, but they both feel very different. In fact, they aren't similar at all. Let’s start with the obvious differences: time. Although China boasts an over 5000 year old history, the founding of Modern China and end of dynastic rule happened 76.8 years ago today. America's - 250.

Fun vocabularial differences (sorry, I teach English): America in 2026 undergoes its bisesquicentennial, or 250 years, whereas when I was in Beijing it ushered in a septugennial, or 70 years. Also, Beijing had a high of 83º degrees in 2019, D.C. - 98º degrees in October. Now, in July 2026, Beijing has a temperature of 92º, and D.C 101º!!! These days, the weather has been so monumentally impactful across continents that it makes the idea of physically being outside and also in America untenable¹.

Which brings us to our next obvious fact: millennial woes. In 2006, we were well warned about Inconvenient Truths, about proxy wars and housing crises, and yet here we are all again on the cusp of yet another recession in boiling heat. Record heat numbers proliferate unchecked across Europe, with many housing units not being equipped for ACs. According to the BBC, France alone has recorded 2,025 excess deaths due to heat². Domestically, 4th of July celebrations have been cancelled in Philadelphia and D.C. because of record heat. In tandem with rising gas, food, and housing prices, it's clear that everything millennials feared has come to fruition in only the ugliest of ways.

We're also all collectively experiencing the consequences of that which we haven’t been warned about – the ills of postmodern late capitalism. Sure, this seemed like a good idea when Southern Company merged with Georgia Power way back in 1926, but now only one publicly-traded power company controls most of the South's power - including metro Atlanta - and wields about $64.1 billion in gross investments alone. And sure, it seemed like a good idea when a Harvard-dropout brought burgeoning business Instagram back in 2012, but now only one billionaire owns 70% of global social media advertising revenue, and about 60% of total social app use through his company Meta. More on that later -

But then there’s also the unavoidable political climate. Three major international conflicts (Ukraine, Palestine, and Iran as of July 2026) are all bloody, expensive, and ongoing. Additionally, we're still fresh off the heels of a pandemic with a few more looming mercilessly. In short - these days, there’s no shortage of bad news. And now, to celebrate:

The Great American State Fair on June 26 in Washington, D.C.Andrew Leyden/Getty Images

¹Many American cities on track to experience record heatwaves, as predicted: Global research reveals countries where record-breaking heat waves are likely to cause most harm

²France records 2,025 excess deaths at peak of heatwave as Europe braces for more extreme weather

Three global conflicts are still very much ongoing, EXPERT VIEWPOINTS ON THE IRANIAN WAR

Here me out: my biggest argument here, dear reader, is that being in Beijing in 2019 simply felt different. Of course I'm not Chinese, but as an outsider I was still able to appreciate their nationalism externally, albeit from an arm's length. Their excited and friendly atmosphere purveyed purity, so that even the energy of strangers became inviting. It actually was a national time to be happy, far beyond the superficial 天天快乐 orchastrated happiness of usual Chinese populus. Meeting strangers and doing aerial splits in front of Mao in TianAnMen Square because why not? Dancing in SanLiTun to music only I could hear only because I was that joyous. For what’s it worth, there were tons of drinking, meeting, touching, partying, sexing – and of course you could say “well, Junique, China’s the world’s largest police state, of course it’s different.” – but good luck finding someone to hookup with on July 4th in America this year. It’s drier than a desert in a sauna, I’ll tell you what.

So yes, I did have to wait over 26 minutes to cross a street back to my hotel because dismantled parade floats passing by ominously took road priority over human convenience. And yes, you could even point to the demagoguery, the eternal monarch of Xi Jin Ping, as I just did - again. Yes, you could point to it all, but ultimately my on-the-ground lived experiences in both places at similar times is dramatically different, and that means something.

To me, it means the dissolution of American values. The renouncing of an America I used to know. In the midst of – what can be described generously as – undeniable and ongoing chaos, holidays themselves are waning in importance. Ever since (what this author claims) the internet and South Park helped us to realize as the pagan/deadly origins of Christmas and Thanksgiving respectively, Kris C. Kringle and Easter B. Bunny have gone the way of the Tooth Fairy, both being easily dispelled childhood notions of reality. The abundant wealth absurdities, current pecuniary concentration, and hyper-commodification of the modern economy also make celebrating anything really difficult. As Americans, we have America 250 (the Left), Freedom 250 (the Right), Independence 250 (the Disney) - three flavors of the same trough, all whilst the only-eating puffed pigs consistently chant: “All Animals are Equal!”

So far, we’ve discussed the ongoing global heat wave, abysmal political climate, and general hyper-capitalism of the American oligarchy. And all of those are great, individual reasons why the Fourth has lost all meaning. Here are two more: